To know

Dear God,

I want to know you more...

If that means to hear you then I want to understand...
If that means to feel you then I want to touch...
If that means to smell you then I want to take in your fragrance...
If that means to see you then I don't want to blink...
If that means to taste you then I don't want to lick my lips for fear of loosing you.

I'm good at talking, not so good at listening, but am desiring to find my balance in you. Help my senses to know your prescience. For you are so good to me and I only desire to make you smile.

Your loving daughter

Confidence & Gratitude

Today, I am reflecting on God answering my prayers. Here's why -

Confidence - This past Monday was my second time volunteering at Tipat Chalev. In my last post, I mentioned that I was super nervous about this new opportunity due to being afraid of failing. I am happy to report that I have not failed...made mistakes - YES - but failing - NO! The three nurses who work on Mondays with me are so incredibly nice. They constantly ask if I have eaten and if I would like a cup of coffee and/or tea. I am now fully convinced that feeding people is part of Jewish DNA. We may have the world fighting against us, but have no fear, we WILL feed our own people come rain or shine.  :-) I'm really clicking with one particular nurse, who asks me how my previous week was and what I did. It's not only nice to feel that she has an interest, but it's a GREAT way to practice my Hebrew speaking skills. I was already thinking that I hope this bond continues to the extent that I can invite her out sometime - maybe go shopping or grab a bite to eat...whatever. It's nice to have friends from all different places. Also, I am able to accomplish my assignment well, as each week I am recording, by hand, the names and details of patients from old files. I feel like a detective trying to piece together who these past moms were and where they could be now after so many years. It's also really interesting to see the different names. Lastly, one thing that really struck me was that on the inside of each patient's file, there is this question - Which country did you make aliyah from? There are really so many immigrants in our country that this has become a standard question. For some reason, this made me feel good. Yes, my confidence has grown, which leads me to...

Gratitude - Early this evening, I was catching up with my husband about the events of today. I was sharing with him about the wonderful time I had with a girlfriend. She made homemade waffles including sprinkling confection sugar on top. I brought grapes, cheese and maple sugar to add to our feast. When I arrived, this friend had already set the table so elegantly and lit a candle. You see, it's the little things - the details of a beautiful arrangement that make a room so inviting! We had such a sweet afternoon, as we ate slowly, talked a lot and enjoyed one another's company. I have been praying for girlfriends ever since moving to Israel - already 1.5 years ago! I was introduced to many guys thanks to my husband, but girls have been a slower process. I am so thankful for some really great girlfriends - both here and in the U.S. Another close friends of mine in the US, calls me on her way to work every Wednesday. She has about a 45 minute drive, so it's a great time to catch up (I believe she uses blue-tooth or car-intercom for safety...no hand holding). I love this weekly gab, as she is like a sister to me and the fact that she makes time to still grow our relationship is priceless. Yes, my gratitude has grown too, which leads me to...

Recognizing how God does both HEAR and ANSWER my prayers in His perfect way and timing. Baruch HaShem!

Summer Update

It's time for an update!

In trying to describe how I am feeling about life, I can't help but think of those wrestling matches on TV. I know it's funny and odd for a girl like me to say such things, but stick with me and you'll see what I'm talking about.

In wrestling, there are some matches that are a 2 person team vs. another 2 person team. Usually in the match, there is only 1 person from each team inside the ring at a time. For team members to switch off, they run to their assigned corner and tag their other team member; thus signaling that it's the other person's turn. This is exactly how I feel. I feel like my "Spring/Summer Season Self" has been in the ring and is about to tag my "Fall Season Self." I can feel the seasons changing and with that the activities that I am involved in, as I inch forward in trying to settle myself even more into Israeli society.

For the past 3 months, I had been volunteering at a children's welfare center in a neighboring town. This experience has helped me so much to gain inner confidence regarding speaking and functioning in Hebrew. I noticed by the end that I desired something a bit more challenging and a change from the current target group (toddlers - AHH!). For a long time, I have been desiring to volunteer and/or work in a Tipat Chalav (Well Baby Clinic) center. I'm excited to share that starting next week, I will be going in every Monday to volunteer at our local clinic! For those of you that are not familiar with Tipat Chalav, here is link that has a good description: http://www.nbn.org.il/aliyahpedia/healthcare/595-tipat-chalav-well-baby-clinics.html

I feel like this new volunteer position actually combines several things - my personal interest in Mother/Baby Health, my University Degree in Public Health and my continuing efforts to understand Israeli society. The one slightly disappointing factor about this position is that the Ministry of Health will only allow me to do clerical work as a Volunteer even though I do have a degree in this field. I am hoping that the local nurses, who all seem VERY nice, will allow me some leeway in time. I already know that my first task will be going through the patient files and recording data in order to build an electronic database. This will require me to sharpen my Hebrew reading and writing skills, which is good!

Overall, I am VERY excited about this opportunity and also VERY VERY nervous. I'm afraid to fail. That's the honest truth. I'm scared that this position is over my head and that my Hebrew skills are just not quite at the level that I can accomplish even this simple clerical task. This realization is hard for my type of personality, as I'm a goal-oriented, success focus, high achieving type of girl. My husband has learned the beauty of my to-do lists and enjoys seeing me cross items off these never-ending lists. What a patient man he is :-)

In addition to starting this Volunteer position, I am also going to enroll in another ulpan,which will start in mid October after the High Holidays. This ulpan should be REALLY helpful for me, as it focuses on reading articles and advancing the basic Hebrew skills that students possess. It's like a Level 2 course and even better is that it's in the town next to me. This will be the closest ulpan I've attended thus far! Yea!

So, my new schedule will be continuing to work part-time for Avishalom, Volunteer once a week at Tipat Chalav and take ulpan (this fall) two days a week. I believe overall this is a healthy step for my development and well rounded regarding my interest. I'm also hoping that the dance aerobic class that I took earlier this Spring/Summer will start back up and then I'll add that to the schedule. Oh and how will I travel to all these places, BY CAR BECAUSE I GOT MY DRIVER'S LICENSE!!! WOO-HOO!!!!!!!!!! Yes, Folks, I actually passed the test thanks to Sharon, my Instructor, and received my Israeli license! This is a real miracle and I feel like Queen of the Castle for accomplishing such task!

Lastly, another big change in our household will be my husband's return to school full-time this October. I could not be more happy about this change, as I think this program is an incredible experience and perfect for his interest. I'm excited to be on this journey with him and see which doors God opens for us.

Well, that's a quick summary and I hope to be more regular in keeping up my blog.  

Driving Lesson #2

Today, I had my 2nd driving lesson with Sharon. Again, I am amazed about many things. This time, our major focus was on me driving to the "DMV" of our area to turn in my application for an Israeli license. All drivers have to fill out a particular application, which involves going to an eye doctor and a family doctor to certify that one is healthy enough to drive. I think this is a fair request; although most practitioners don't take it all that seriously. The road to the "DMV Office" was one that I had never driven on and is a local 2 lane highway. Naturally, I was very nervous about this prospect. In addition, there were two ladies in the backseat - both Arabs. Again, very interesting, as my Jewish Israeli Driving Instructor is helping these Israeli Arabs obtain their licenses - see we do work together sometimes!

Thankfully, my application and supplementary paperwork (record showing American driving history) was accepted. One never knows in Israel how bureaucratic procedures will transpire, as the simplest thing can turn into a nightmare in a matter of seconds. Funny enough, the clerk reviewing my paperwork was  talking on the phone while looking things up in the computer and stamping my document, all at the sometime. THIS IS ISRAEL! haha

On the way home, I drove around our town a little bit more before Sharon directed me to a certain neighborhood. We then switched cars, as we dropped his work car off at his home and then picked up his personal car. At this point, Sharon took the driving seat and proceeded to drop me off close to my home. It was really cute because in the 5 minutes we were driving together, he shared with me about his daughter, who evidently is around my age and plays volleyball for an university in New Haven, Connecticut. Sharon said that it's been about 4 years since she's been back and how much he misses his daughter. Such a Jewish Papa!

Overall, my lesson went very well. I still need to work on some minor things in order to pass the test. Really, all of this is in effort to learn how to pass the test since I already know "how-to" drive. I believe in a matter of just a few weeks, I could be the proud owner of a new Israeli Driving License (for automatic cars only) :-)

I really want to share that this experience has helped boost my confidence in speaking Hebrew and interacting with the "outside" world. I speak mostly (about 80-90%) in Hebrew to Sharon. Last week, I went to the local hair salon and again conducted business in Hebrew. Both of these actions are without Yonatan by my side. Naturally, I prefer to have Yoni around, but these experiences have shown me that I CAN do things without him using the Hebrew that I know. I've always know this fact, but it's nice to see it play out sometimes. I've also begun to realize that throwing in some English words when I don't know something is not a sin. haha. In the past, I have felt really bad when I had to revert to English, as if I had failed. More recently, I have realized that it's really okay because I'm learning and this is what we do. Israelis love speaking English anyways.

So, today, I'm living on the mountaintop and enjoying the view. I'm starting to see that I do have a future in this Hebrew-speaking environment. This has always been my heart's desire - to speak, read and write Hebrew fluently. I'm slowly inching my way toward this goal and have re-adjusted expectations and time lines. A very good move, if I do say so!

Perhaps, one day I may even write a blog in Hebrew - you just never know :-)

Driving Lesson #1

I could jump for joy right now, as I finished my first driving lesson with my Israeli Instructor, Sharon (pronounced - Sh-ron). I was so nervous this morning and then on top of everything, Sharon calls me at 8:50am to see if we could change our 10am meeting to 9:00am. AHHH! I settled for 9:30am seeing that I was not ready in the least bit. So, I quickly got myself together and ran out the door at 9:30.

I found Sharon parked in his red car - looked like a Ford Taurus, but no sure ... right outside our driveway. In Israel, you learn on the Driving Instructor's car, which has a big advertising cone on top with the Hebrew letter, Lamed (ל) to show that someone is learning. This REALLY helps, as everyone else on the road has just the slightest bit more patience with those learning how to drive or taking their driving test.

When I got in the car, Sharon was very nice and told me right away that we could start. There was another guy in the backseat, who I found out later was taking his test right after me. I quickly adjusted all the mirrors, my seat and put on my prescription sunglasses because it's so bright in Israel right now due to summertime.

We spent the majority of the time going around the neighborhoods in my town and those around me. At the end, Sharon had me drive up to the Industrial Area where there is a Navy Technical School. I was the most nervous on this part of our journey, as I had not really drove in this area with Yonatan when we would practice. This area is also on the way to downtown Haifa, so for a split second, I thought we might be going into the downtown part. That would have been a nightmare for sure!

At the end, Sharon said to me, "You know how to drive. You just need to learn the signs more." I was happy that he felt comfortable with my driving skills. He then explained to me for the second time where to go to get the medical form that I need to turn into the Department of Transportation. In Israel, one must have their eyes checked as well as a simple exam with one's family doctor as part of the driving process. After I have these things, Sharon wants me to call him again and we'll go for another 1-2 lessons before he sets me up to take the exam.

Here are things I found funny about my experience today:

• When I get in the car, the air is blowing, the radio is on full blast and Sharon is making phone calls while I'm starting to drive
• During my first few minutes in the car, Sharon is explaining to me where I must go to get the medical forms. He is showing me an example form, while I am suppose to be driving.
• About 15 minutes into driving, he directs me to the Police Station. Evidently, behind this station, there is place for driving instructors to meet. Sharon tells me to park while he gets out the car and talks with other guys for about 10 minutes. I have no idea what's going on. I ask the guy in the backseat, in Hebrew, why we are here, but he too doesn't know. Grrrr
• Once, Sharon put on his breaks (he has a break pedal on his side) to stop me, as he was making a point that you must come to a full stop or I will fail. Okay, got the point!
• The FUNNIEST OF ALL - At the end of my session, we park in the parking lot of the technical school. Another Driving Instructor comes up with his student in this MASSIVE TRUCK - like the type that pulls other large objects behind it. Sharon then tells me that we are going to switch cars, so that the other guy in our car can take the driving test in Sharon's car with this new Driving Instructor. Thus, I go with Sharon into this MASSIVE TRUCK - I had to take two steps just to get inside. THEN, Sharon has a hard time driving this beast since it's a stick shift. It was a crazy ride back!

There you go folks. My first driving lesson experience in Israel. Let's the process begin!

Random Ramble

I feel bad that I'm always apologizing for being a blog slacker, so I'm just going to quit feeling bad ;-) (notice, I did not say that I would quit apologizing)

I don't have a real topic that I feel burden to discuss, so I'll just share some of my latest random thoughts:

- It's amazing how many kings in ancient day Israel started off so good "in the eyes of God" and then messed everything up at the end of their life

-I think the Disciples were extra ambitious to share their message because they really thought that have found THE SOLUTION. I imagine, it must have been a "light bulb moment" once they realized how Yeshua's words could transform a person's life, attitude and dreams. 

-I am about to convert my American Driver's license into an Israeli Driver's license, so I can LEGALLY drive. I'm not really aching to drive more per-se, just to drive legally instead of my current illegal practicing. I'm definitely nervous about the whole situation, but I have faith to overcome what feels like a big hurdle. I think the thing that's most annoying is that I use to be a fearless driver just a few years ago. The year before I moved to Israel, I worked for a company that was about an hour away from my house. This job required me to drive on big highways for quite some distance. I ended up having a fear of driving because I thought that I was going to have a panic attack on the road. Before this job, I was driving in places I had never been before with rental cars when leading youth retreats around the country. It's amazing in a sad way how one year really messed with my head and heart. Now, I fight the fear of having a panic attack. I know that I must overcome this to declare victory for my heart. I have been practicing and am feeling more comfortable around our area. In addition, I bought new prescription glasses and sunglasses. Both pairs are great! So, tomorrow is the big day, as I will have my first lesson with Sharon, my Israeli Driving Instructor. Should be interesting...

-I've decided to try a new hair salon instead of returning to Zohar. The guy makes me feel more uncomfortable then comfortable, so I decided his talent was not worth it. I'm hoping to try a salon right across from our place. It looks like a fancy place, so hopefully their decor matches their talent...we shall see. I need to first ask if they have someone that speaks English, as my Hebrew is not good enough to describe exactly what I want with my hair. I guess I could use lots of hand motions and say, "Like this!" haha. Perhaps, I'll have another story to go with my next salon trial.

-Learning Hebrew continues to be my biggest challenge. It's filled with many ups and downs and these can be in the same day. I look forward to the time when I feel more at ease because I do have faith to know it will come.

-There are instances when I think back and wish people in my life had acted differently. I feel so hurt by what they said or did, especially when I see them treat others in the opposite manner. I realized this morning that I must choose to move past this attitude of comparison or I will always live with a bitter edge. It's not good and it doesn't change things. I must seek better fruit then this!

-Lastly, why is it that people who want to be married have difficulty finding a mate and those that don't care so much get married young, and people who want to have children have difficulty and then there are those who get pregnant after a one night stand...why must those who "do things right" endure more? Perhaps, we can handle more? Perhaps, we can show more? Perhaps, it's just part of God's plan to make us all a little more dependent on Him.

These are my rambling thoughts for today....

Pulling the Past to the Present

I feel like so much has happened since my last post and while I'd love to share all the details, tonight, I will just share one thought.

About a month ago, the YMJA Israel Team arrived. As you may recall, I wrote about our time with them here in the Haifa area. That weekend left me feeling a mix of emotions. As the weekends moved forward, I felt like I was able to process my emotional thoughts in small bits, which led me to some good internal conclusions. Today, I feel like a new "dimension" to those emotions has errupted again. Why? All because of Facebook!

The YMJA Team just returned to their respective hometowns and many of the team members have posted hundreds of photos, capturing all the incredible moments of their time. It's insane that I'm glued to these photos and looking through hundreds over several hours. Why? Because I remember my own experience. It was the trip that changed my life and led me to my current permanent spot, as an Israeli citizen!

So, here were the emotions that came from such photographic viewings:

The Good: "Awhh, yes, I remember doing __________. They look like they are having such a blast! Wow, I have to go there sometime! We took some of those exact same poses! Hehe, they look so funny!" etc....

The Bad: "Where did time go? How has 9 years passed since our own trip? I really miss our trip and wish I could go back in time to do some things again. Why can't I go on a tour? I wish I could have spent more time with the people on this trip. Why has time passed so quickly?!" etc...

The Result: Time is precious. I need to appreciate people, places and events more. I love all the things in my present day life and feel like I waited a life time to get here, but now that I'm here, it's like I'm dreaming of the next step. Seeing the group's pictures has reminded me to WAIT, SLOW DOWN, and STOP to enjoy the moment. I can't go backwards, only forwards. Turning 30 seems so close and that scares me a tad. Life is fragile, precious and moves quickly. In seeing the group, I saw myself, and this was a good reflection of time.

Speaking of time, Shabbat is coming and my former Rabbi use to say, "Shabbat is like an island in time." I like that! Shabbat Shalom!

Why is it so hard to find a Wife/Husband?

Tonight, I find myself asking the question, "Why is it so hard for single people to find "The One"?" It's slightly ironic that I've asked myself this question both as a single person and now as a married person. I realize that for those that have strong religious/faith-based beliefs, the act of becoming married seems to be harder; perhaps, on account of "additional standards" relating to one's personal convictions. 

Recently, I've taken special notice of many of my single friends. I have so many exceptional single friends - both guys and girls - that would love to be married. If this is their desire and one they feel G-d has ordained than I, too, desire this for each of them. Part of me wishes that it was easy enough to just pair people up like one of my favorite childhood games, Memory. I often find myself looking at the interests of these friends and making mental comparison charts like another good board game, Apples to Apples. Again, why is it so hard for them to find their intended wife or husband? I know from talking and walking alongside these friends that they would make excellent spouses, family leaders, future parents, married friends and community members. Why? Why? Why? 

Furthermore, I'm sure you've heard statements like:

"She's so great, how come no one has snatched her up already? Something must be wrong..."

"He really wants to be married. I feel bad for him. Why doesn't he put himself out there more?"

"Maybe he or she is not meant to be married right now because G-d is using them in such a powerful way!"

Do these statements help? No, I don't think so. I also know that when I was single, I heard  other statements like:

"Some guy is going to be so blessed to have you as his wife one day."

"When you get married, this time of waiting will seem worth it!"

"G-d has amazing things in store for you!"

Did these helps me have more patience while waiting for my husband to come into the picture? Not so much...

So what's my conclusion....

I don't have an answer!

This I do know: G-d's plans are always good, but not always easy. So, I will continue to pray for my friends and seek ways to be of help, understanding and support. I don't want to offer trifle words and I hope that just maybe G-d will use me as an intended or unintended matchmaker... :-) I'll end with two good quotes that I just found. Hope they bring a smile to your face and joy to your heart

Albert Ellis

The art of love... is largely the art of persistence.

AnonymousIt is never too late to fall in love.

When the Past Meets the Future

After college, I worked as a retreat/conference planner for a youth organization over the span of 3.5 years. Before I started working professionally for this non-profit, I volunteered my time, also over a span of several years. This job was great for a new college grad, as I had the chance to travel all over the US and meet incredible people constantly. It really helped me to grow, stretch and understand my personal strengths, talents and gifting. I will be forever grateful for how God used this time of my life to shape the person that I've become. In fact, it was very hard for me to say good-bye in preparing to move to Israel. If I lived in the US now, I'm sure I would still be volunteering and heavily involved. So what happened when I moved to Israel?...I closed that chapter of my life and asked God to show me the next step, knowing that the things I learned would be re-shaped in a new place. I felt like the old piece of clay that was put back on the potter's wheel to be watered down into soft dough, so the Master could create a new design.
Some time ago, I found out that this organization was taking a group of young people on a tour around Israel. I was ecstatic and sad at the same time. I remembered by own experience on this type of trip over 9 years ago. Where has time gone? How can it fly so fast? And why am I approaching 30 - scary! I really wanted to be involved in the planning of this current trip and felt the old urge to organize such an event resurface. Oy! Truth be told, I had my feelings hurt at first, as I was not being used in the way that I wanted. This turned out to be a good thing, as I was reminded again of how I needed to cut the strings and allow others to work in their proper place. Again, Oy! So tough!

God really did bless me, as I then had the chance to plan, organize and semi-lead two days of the trip. This is where the Past met the Present and I think they gave one another an awkward hand-shake.

I told many people that I knew how the youth were feeling since I had been on the same trip years ago, but I didn't know how to look at the youth from the outside...the other side. It was such a mix of emotions for me. I could feel parts of the "Old Blair" rising to the surface and I longed for "that feeling" ... the kind that kicks in around conference time. I even saw old friends that I had worked alongside, but this time, we were in new positions. I couldn't make the puzzle pieces fit, but I could almost see what the puzzle design was suppose to be.

.... Let me stop for a moment and recognize that this previous job was not always easy and there were things I hoped never to do again, like fundraising, but overall, I would rate it as at least an 8 out of 10. I'm also proud to see how much things have grown and changed. I'm happy to have made "many mistakes" so others can walk a stronger/smoother path. Back to the current story....

As the second day came to a close, I am happy to report that I possessed a certain peace about 'hanging out with the past." I was able to flex some old muscles, relive some memories, connect with some great young people, enjoy some free time at the beach, make new connections with my Israeli counterparts and ensure that a certain dream was fulfilled. I can now confidently say that I don't yearn for the past, but look at her with a smile and say, "Thanks for the ride. It was a good one!"

As for what's ahead of me, well, I'm still excited to see how it continues to unfold. It wouldn't half surprise me if moments like this weekend, pop up from time to time like the common thread in my life tapestry.

L'chaim!

It's the Engine...

This past weekend, we did a little traveling to one of our favorite places - Jerusalem! It was one of those times where we combined a lot of peoples' invitations into one trip. This always thrills me! Save gas + extend fellowship = good memories! We were housed by a dear friend who is visiting from the States. She is renting a nice home in the German Colony, which is a district/section of Jerusalem. On Thursday night, we hosted a small events for other young people who have made aliyah. I loved hearing everyones' stories in such a relaxed atmosphere. Truly each story is unique and it's fun to see how God works out the details! On Friday morning, we picked up 3 friends who were also going to the wedding, which was in Beit Shemesh - about 30 minutes outside of Jerusalem heading in the direction of Tel Aviv. Again, we were having a great time and I was happy that we could help others travel to this somewhat inconvenient location - don't get me wrong, the location was beautiful, but not easy to get to if you don't have a car.

As we were coming up one of the Jerusalem hills, I felt the car pulling. It was like it was trying to accelerate and couldn't. I thought of the Flintstones cartoon...maybe we needed to pedal with our feet to make it up the acsent :-) Things seem to return to normal, as we leveled out, but not for long. The closer we got to Beit Shemesh, the more our engine started to shake. Before long, those in the back were asking if something is wrong with the car...this is always a bad sign! Thank God, there was a gas station near by, so we turned in and again Thank God there was a mechanic available. He looked at the car and said it was probably a spark plug, but that we should visit his friend up the street who works at a proper car shop. So, we gently made our way to this shop to look for Jabal.

Again, we found the shop relatively easily and Jabal was able to look at the car right away. Remember, at this point, we are all in our wedding attire, so I'm sure we looked a little funny pulling into this oil spot. Most of the group went into the air conditioning waiting room where there was free Internet, water and coffee. I wanted to stay in there, but my curiosity was climbing and I thought maybe a "pretty face" would encourage someone to help us. I can't help but still try to bat my eyelashes in a desperate situation. To make a long story short, we heard the famous words, "it's your engine. It needs to be replaced." Okay, to me, this is like saying, "it's the heart. It needs to be replaced."

Yonatan and I tried not to panic. You have to understand, it's almost noon on Friday (everything closes around 2 due to Shabbat) in a town that is almost 3 hours from home. What to do...we decide to leave the car, get a rental and go to the wedding. This is a decision we felt good about considering the circumstances. So, we tell the group our decision and try to work things out with the car shop. I am very proud to report that I said in Hebrew to the car shop guys that we were on our way to a wedding. This one sentence helped us receive a discount on the car rental and obtain more compassion from everyone because in Israel, weddings, babies and births are a HUGE ordeal. Yea for me! This is the one time I'll toot my own horn.

So, we made lemon juice out of lemons (inside joke) and enjoyed the rest of our weekend. The wedding was GREAT and our times with friends was wonderful. We also walked around different parts of Jerusalem and picked up a beautiful piece of art that a friend had bought for us.

The last part of this blog will explore some irony.

It is ironic that a week before this trip, we took the car in for a tune-up. The mechanic here replaced our back breaks and refilled all the fluids. So, why did our engine break a week later? Was it the fault of our mechanic here or just timing? I don't know. Another one of our friends' cars also broke on the way to a wedding in Jerusalem about a month ago. Again, are weddings in Jerusalem bad luck or just timing? I think the answer is obvious :-) And lastly, was it worth us buying a whole new engine or should we have just bought another car? No irony in this one. We felt it was worth it to replace the engine in this car. It was more financially savvy for us rather then invest in a new car.

Last thing I was to share. If there is one thing I have learned from this whole experience is that people love to share their opinions. We've had more people tell us "what we should have done" and honestly it's annoying. Yonatan and I made a decision that we felt comfortable with and that's the end of the story. I wish people would not offer up their advice unless asked to because it's not that helpful once the action has taken place.

Good news - the car shop called today and our car is ready for pick-up! Yonatan is going tomorrow, so our baby - Shoshi - will be home by the evening!

End of story. :-)

Creativity Craving

cre·a·tiv·i·ty

   /ˌkrieɪˈtɪvɪti, ˌkriə-/ Show Spelled[kree-ey-tiv-i-tee, kree-uh-] 

noun

 

"The ability to transcend traditional ideas, rules, patterns, relationships, or the like, and to create meaningful new ideas, forms, methods, interpretations, etc.; originality, progressiveness, or imagination: the need for creativity in modern industry; creativity in the performing arts."

 

Lately, I've been thinking how important creativity is in my life. I didn't even realize I was laking it until a few nights ago when I was having a discussion with Yonatan about my work/volunteer status. I was sharing that I enjoy my current schedule, but felt like something was missing. I'm working part-time, which fulfils my desire to help the household income while also being productive. I like my job; although, it doesn't really challenge me in certain ways. I'm also volunteering one day a week at a children's welfare center, which fulfils my desire to practice Hebrew more intentionally and TO BE in the greater Israeli community. The days that I'm not working, I am house cleaning or enjoying some down time around the house to focus on other smaller projects, which usually revolve around reorganizing nicks and crannies around the apartment. So, what could be missing????

 

Then it hit me - CREATIVITY! I know it's a funny thing to realize, but I think everyone whether you're an "artist" or not enjoys creating. We have a friend that's a scientist. He's great in all the Math/Science/Physics arenas and thus enjoys creating new materials in his university lab. I qualify him as an artist. Another friend of ours is working the land as an agricultural apprentices. He's learning about the beautify of the earth and how to best cultivate fresh and tasty vegetables. Again, I consider this an art. My point is that everyone, well almost everyone, is using creativity at some point in a way that's relative to their interest (professional or personal). So, what am I creating? How can I fulfil my creativity craving?

 

I love the Arts. I use to write poetry, assemble fashionable outfits, draw, paint, dance and take pictures. Now, I do a fraction of these things. When I use to plan retreats, I really loved organizing a good schedule. This felt like art to me. I also loved decorating for special events. I admit it, I like organization A LOT, but this does not disqualify me from some right brain functions! I consider it an art to arrange. A good friend of mine here in Israel is an incredible florist. She is not in the business anymore, but whenever she arranges a floral design, I am amazed. This past week, I went with this friend to a plant nursery and watched her "do her thing" by "speaking plant" to the workers, which resulted in us taking home an incredible mix of flower colors, textures, styles and lengths. Tomorrow, I will get to see her creativity unfold, as she was decorating for our Shavuot Service. I really think and believe people will enjoy the service more because their senses will be heighten by the beauty of her floral creations. But back to me...what about my creativity???

 

I'm still not sure how I can fulfil all my creativity craving, but I sure hope to try. For the month of June, I am taking a dance aerobic class on Wednesday nights. This will be a chance for me to creatively and intentionally use and move my body ;-) This afternoon, I repotted some  new plants  into some beautiful blue ceramic potting plants that we have been saving for the right time. Now there is a lot of color in our living room! Tonight, Yoni and I plan to make a nice Shabbat meal for some friends. I can't wait to set the table and make it look extra special for the occasion. Yes, already, I can fill the creative juices flowing!

 

Creativity....it's a good thing! So, how do you express yours?

 

 

Open House Follow-up

A while ago, I posted about ideas for our Open House Party. Now, I am writing to give a follow-up report. Overall, we had a great time and I feel highly successful to have pulled off such an occasion  with the help of my lovely assistant, Vanna-Yonatan ;-)

We invited a lot of people - maybe 60-ish and had about 30-40 people attend. We purposely set the time of our gathering for mid-afternoon (4pm -7pm), so that we could serve appetizers instead of main dishes. Our menu was as follows: fresh bread from the local bakery, Pesto sauce, Olive paste, sliced cheese, all kinds of veggies with fresh cheese sauce, artichoke and spinach dip, fruit cups, pumpkin chocolate chip bread, dates and almonds, guacamole dip, chips, punch, soda and juice. We made almost all the sauces and dips ourselves (store bought Pesto and Olive Paste).

I think we planned the process well, as Yonatan and I did all the shopping over a few days before and did the main cooking on Friday (day before). This way, the only thing left on Saturday to do was chopping, slicing and arranging, which still took several hours.

As the first guests arrived, I started getting nervous. I take this as a good sign because it keeps me humble. I remember when I use to organize retreats, I would get very nervous before the first night even after years of leading. With more and more people coming through our doors, Yonatan and I quickly became good tour guides explaining why and how we designed our apartment. I was happy to see that our friends enjoyed it too. The most special part of the whole evening was the mezuzah hanging. Before we hung the mezuzah, I shared a few words about why this day was special to me and what our (Yonatan and mine) hopes/dreams/prayers were for our home and it's relationship to the greater community. Yonatan translated what I said into Hebrew so that everyone could be involved. It was one of those moments, where I was satisfied with what I said, how I delivered it and how people received it - Home Run Moment! After this mini speech, our rabbi and friend, Moshe hung the mezuzah in our bedroom door frame and said the traditional blessings. We had friends both in our room, around the door frame and in the hallway - truly surrounding us! I loved this moment and felt great joy in knowing that we were fulfilling Torah in that moment. Also, it was very special that my parents gave us the mezuzah, which was in the shape of a tree AND this is important because our last name means "oak" in Hebrew. All very cool!

After the mezuzah hanging, we had some guests leave and new guests arrive. Thus a nice mixing throughout the night. It was almost 8:30pm when the last of our friends left. The first thing we did once everyone was gone was...open presents! Yup, some of our guests gave us very nice and thoughtful presents - totally unexpected! THEN, our dear friend and roommate, Shmuel offered to treat us to ice-cream. What a night! So, we officially ended the night with ice creams and crepes from our favorite little place on the corner. Definitely a "sweat" way to celebrate such a fun, successful and meaningful family event!

Looking forward to the next party...wonder what the occasion may be....? ;-)

Barbie House

I was wondering recently if the Israelities' request for God to dwell in the Temple was like the two year olds that I volunteer with asking me if I would live inside a Barbie House for them. Maybe from space, the Temple looks like a Barbie House to God...? Seriously, how could a physical building on Earth contain the Maker of the Universe? I know that King David understood this concept, as he writes in Psalm 8:

"When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him? You made him a little lower than the heavenly beings and crowned him with glory and honor."

And yet, we see that God makes His Presence known in the Temple by filling it with a type of holy cloud. This is how I know that God cares about me. I feel like He tries to provide ways for us to understand Him and connect with His character. I like having a relationship with the Creator of the Universe. I don't mean this flippantly. In all seriousness, I think about God trying to squeeze a toe into the Temple and laugh. I know that He would go to end to show His desire for me.

I want to strive to reflect this type of love for others in hope that I can reflect the real architect.

...Just a passing thought

{Disclaimer: I do acknowledge that the true reason for building the Temple was to house the Ark of the Covenant. King David asked God how to handle the Covenants and God clearly expressed the design for this Temple. Also, the Temple was a place for showing devotion to God through sacrifices. My thoughts refer more to the expression of "containing God."}

The Original Mask & Walking Letters

I think we've all heard the phrase, "You're hiding behind a mask!" Check out what I saw this morning while reading Exodus 34 and 2 Corinthians 3:

"When Moses came down from Mount Sinai with the two tablets of the Testimony in his hands, he was not aware that his face was radiant because he had spoken with the LORD. When Aaron and all the Israelites saw Moses, his face was radiant, and they were afraid to come near him. But Moses called to them; so Aaron and all the leaders of the community came back to him, and he spoke to them.       Afterward all the Israelites came near him, and he gave them all the commands the LORD had given him on Mount Sinai. When Moses finished speaking to them, he put a veil over his face.  But whenever he entered the LORD's presence to speak with him, he removed the veil until he came out. And when he came out and told the Israelites what he had been commanded, they saw that his face was radiant. Then Moses would put the veil back over his face until he went in to speak with the LORD."

What struck me in this passage, is how Moses put a veil over his face for the Israelites but not for God. I think a lot of us try to "look perfect" before God. I am so encouraged to think that with God, I don't have to pretend to be someone different, someone I'm not. I can be real, honest and natural aka. NO MASK! I like the idea of God seeing me for who I am - imperfections and all - and then knowing in return, that He still wants to use me for His Purposes. It takes a lot of pressure off in realizing this fact. I'm not a student striving for an "A" in spirituality. I'm a life-long pupil realizing that God wants all of me and what is good for Him is certainly good enough for mankind. Okay, now the connection to this next passage....

"You yourselves are our letter, written on our hearts, known and read by everybody. You show that you are a letter from Messiah, the result of our ministry, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts...Now if the ministry that brought death, which was engraved in letters on stone, came with glory, so that the Israelites could not look steadily at the face of Moses because of its glory, fading though it was, will not the ministry of the Spirit be even more glorious?"

The part that struck me about this passage was thinking that my life is a "walking letter' since it reflects how others have impacted me. I thought about Rav. Shaul and how his followers didn't go around handing out small Tanakhs. They shared by expressing what God was doing in their lives. They were a living Tanakh and their actions were a testimony to all. So, what does this mean:

We need to hear from God (no veil), so we can encourage and strengthen others (living epistle). In this way, we will be a batch of beautiful letters (ink stains and all) used for reflecting our Creator. What I do, matters! My name is written on others' letters just as their names are inscribed on my own. I want a face that shines God's radiance like Moses. 

Forget the Mask, Become a Letter!

 

Meet Zohar

I had the most interesting and embarrassing experience yesterday. I met Zohar...

This all started a few weeks ago, when I realized that it was time to visit a proper salon. Seriously, we have at least 3 salons on every block. I'm not sure how they all stay in business, but I'm convinced that Israelis love their hair. Up until now, I've managed with a simple trim from a woman we know who has her own in-house studio. I was fine with this, but as Spring approaches, I was craving a new hair-do. (I also craved new shoes and satisfied that craving on Wednesday)

{Side-note: Things in Israel are so expensive that I don't spend money on fashion oriented items or services the way that I did in the US. This is not a bad thing, it just helps me to be more intentional about my purchases and I think that's a fine trait! Thus, buying 3 pairs of sandals (they were on sale) and going to the salon for hair services was a MAJOR splurge, but worth it!}

Back to the story...

Earlier in the week, my good friend Ari told me about a salon near his apartment that has a hairdresser from England. I was super excited about this fact because it meant that he spoke ENGLISH! I'm all for speaking Hebrew as much as possible, but when it comes to my hair, I want to be able to CLEARLY express my desires. Ari then shared the following facts about Zohar, as he evidently cut another one of Ari's friends - also an American. Zohar - 1. Served as a Paratrooper in the IDF 2. His commander in the army is now the IDF Chief of Staff (legendary dude) 3. Speaks English 4. Cuts hair for all the Americans in our area 5. Very outgoing aka eccentric 6. A bit expensive, but worth it and 7. His salon is called FAN-C. Okay...so off we went to meet Zohar.

Yoni and I decided to stop by the salon on our way to work yesterday morning - around 9am. I thought the salon would be closed, but that we could jot down a number and call later. Nope, I was wrong. There was Zohar with his partner working away when we walked in. Everything worked out perfectly - Zohar had an opening for later in the afternoon and yes, I confirmed that he spoke English! Thus, we planned to return after work that very same day. So exciting! Finally a real haircut coming my way. {Boy, have I missed my dad's salon in the US and how familiar his work was to me!}

Thursday afternoon comes and we return to FAN-C Salon :-) When I sit down in Zohar's chair, he starts looking through my hair and promptly says, "You have bad dandruff and hair loss. Did you recently have a baby or something?" My mouth dropped and I think my face probably turned bright red. I think I squeaked out something along the lines, of "Um, I didn't know that I have dandruff and yes, I know my hair is thin....um...." Zohar then tells me not to worry and that he can fix everything with these products *he then shows me three different things and explains the process. I'm still shocked and trying to process everything while agreeing to whatever help he can offer. You have to understand that I'm already a bit self conscious about my hair because one thing I've noticed about Israelis is that THEY ALL HAVE GREAT THINK, SHINNY AND LONG HAIR! Ugh!

The next three hours are a quite the process. My head was washed with special shampoo, massaged with special oils and soaked in purposely warm water. My poor husband was not intending such an episode, but he dutifully stayed with me without any complaints. This is the mark of a real man!

In the end, I ended up with a great haircut (it's shoulder length with a bunch of layers around my collar-bone and nice side-bangs). My hair does feel very silky and clean right down to the scalp.

More on Zohar - I learned that he is originally from Romania and then moved to England to learn all about hair. His accent is very British, which made me wonder if he was really telling the truth about his origins. He clearly loved his profession and himself....He enjoyed telling me about how people come to him from afar and how he treats his assistants with extra care - always paying them for their training periods. Zohar was loud, he smoked and had an earring. He told me more stories about his wife, his kids and freaking out the New Yorkers that came to visit. I didn't know what to make of this guy. In the end, he won my heart because when I went to pay, he would not accept a tip. He said that he was the owner and that tipping was unnecessary. I was shocked. So, I left a nice tip for his assistant who was a Russian woman named Marianna. She was the opposite of Zohar and the poor woman had to massage more liquids into my scalp then anyone can imagine.

I'm not sure what I've gotten myself into, but meeting Zohar was unforgettable. I'm sure there will be future blog posts about him...and his work on my hair!

P.S. For those that have seen the movie, "Don't Mess with the Zohan" starring Adam Sandler, well there were some definite similarities! :-)

Shabbat Shalom!

Open House Party Prep

Well, I'm home sick this week, but this does not stop me from trying to be productive in my silly kind of way. For example, if I study Hebrew for an hour then I will reward myself with 2 episodes of "Once Upon A Time "...plus chocolate. If I get through the laundry then I will gladly give myself a handful of chips after taking my nose spray and prescribed throat lozengers. Silly, right?! On to more news. I am very excited about our open house party on May 19th!

I have wanted to throw an open house party for sometime, but it seemed like we couldn't find a good date. Either our bathrooms were under-construction or there were exams to prepare for or we needed to attend some function. But now, all our construction is finished and we've brought home the last purchased piece of furniture! I really love our home and am thrilled to see people feel comfortable when they visit. Truly, I am blessed, as my husband is the one that bought the home before I even came into the picture. He kept everything simple until we married and now has given me much freedom to suggest and implement changes. Now, we want everyone to enjoy our home as much as we do. So, where do I start in planning such a party?????

We've decided to have a late afternoon/early evening party - 4-7pm on a Saturday afternoon (so Motzi Shabbat). I'd like to create an atmosphere of fun with a "laid-back" type of attitude. I say this because I'm such a planner that I would normally plan out every hour of any event I host.

{Sidenote: When I was a child, I always had a fear that my friends would be bored when spending the night at my house. I wanted them to have a good time and of course, I wanted them to like me. I think adults are the same way. I want people to enjoy our Open House and of course, I want people to like my husband and myself. I've since learned that I can't force or make people like me and in fact, it's not the most important things in life - whether someone likes you or not. Reality is some people like you and some do not. THAT'S OKAY. Back to our party...}

How do I fuse fun + laid-back? I think the answer lies in a buffet! Yes, maybe I can cover our table with buffet style finger foods. I'm also thinking about something that people can participate in - maybe a platter for people to sign or maybe planting seeds in a flower box...not sure. We're also thinking about hanging a new mazuzah at the front door. My dad and stepmom gave us a beautiful mazuzah in the shape of a tree, which is very fitting since our last name means "oak tree" in Hebrew. These are just a few of my ideas...we'll see what happens.

One last secret to the reason I want this party. I feel bad that we have not invited more people over for Erev Shabbat meals. We've hosted a lot of our single friends, but not as many of our married friends. I'm still learning how to mix the two groups, as it's a big goal for us. Yoni and I both feel strongly that it's important to have multi-generations involved in our lives. As my new saying goes, "We want to be Passionate for People." Community is important and I want community in my home!

"Be grateful for the home you have, knowing that at this moment, all you have is all you need."

~ Sarah Ban Breathnach

"Charity begins at home, but should not end there."

 ~ Thomas Fuller

Fantasy Lands

I feel so bad that I haven't written a new entry in over a week. This is definitely below my hopes of posting regularly. Funny enough, I check my friends' blogs most every day because I love to see what's new. Ah, this era of "Internet connection" and not just the signal strength...which constantly goes in and out around my apartment.

Okay, so without further notice, let's jump into my thought for this post - Fantasy Lands.

I just finished reading, The Hobbit and have now watched all the current behind-the-scene/making of the movie video blogs. It's incredible and mind blowing at how much they can do these days to make our imaginations appear on film. Honestly, I wasn't as impressed with this book compared to my love for other Tolkien book that have been adapted into movies like The Lord of the Rings series. I wanted to read, The Hobbit as a means of comparison to the upcoming film debut in December. I'm curious to see which parts Peter Jackson (movie director) will capture and which will simply remind in the book.

As I was reading, The Hobbit it occurred to me that around the same time, C.S. Lewis was creating another fantasy land - Narnia. This same author wrote numerous books around his fantasy lands and today, these books are becoming movies. One could almost say there is a Tolkien vs. Lewis battle going on, as movie adapted books become apart of our yearly cycles.

The third fantasy land that I wanted to point out is a recent US television show called, Once Upon A Time. A friend introduced me to the series and now I'm trying to watch all of Season 1 before the next season ares. It's a great show that basically revolves around all the common fairytale characters being trapped in the worst place ever - our world! There "Happily Ever Afters" are being threatened by their current life on planet Earth.

Last night, I couldn't help but think that we - the human race - are very fascinated with fantasy lands. Why? I think there are many reasons. For me, I love enjoying another person's story where I don't have to do anything but watch events unfold and hold my breath until the (hopefully) happy ending comes forth. What does this say about me? I'm lazy? Maybe yes, Maybe no. I think, we, as humans are so worn out and afraid of the lack of happy endings that it's easier to obtain happiness from another's story. It's not easy interacting with reality and sometimes we don't get the proper or expected return. So, should we stop trying and crawl inwards to the fantasy lands of Tolkien, C.S. Lewis or ABC's latest television show? No, I absolutely don't think so.

My hope is not 100% in the riches of this world. There are days that feel like I'm living in a wonderful fantasy and there are days that feel like a bad comedy. The beauty is knowing that Heaven outweighs them all. Heaven is a topic that scares and delights me all at the same time. I will save that for the another post. What I want to say here is that our Earth is beautiful and mysterious. It holds great wonders, but in the end, I will walk in a place that is better then Middle Earth, Narnia and Storybook, Maine. My hope is G-d, the King of Heaven and Earth!

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when the desire is fulfilled, it is a tree of life."

 Proverbs 13:12

The Little Engine That Could...

Yesterday was very exciting and incredibly scary for me. I have been wanting to volunteer somewhere in the greater Israeli community for several reasons:

1. To improve my Hebrew speaking
2. To meet new people and
3. To connect more with Israel as a whole

For this reason, I was ecstatic to find a center for "children at-risk" through the welfare office in a neighboring town. This seemed like the perfect venue for me. When the day finally came to go, I was having so many different thoughts...like...

"Can I really handle this? Will I be able to communicate with anyone or will I revert to just shaking my head at everything as if I know what they're saying? Will I ever be able to communicate on my own without Yoni present? What if I want to leave early in the day? What IF, What IF, WHAT IF?????"

It's so important to me that I can communicate with people. I'm such a talkative person that not being able to fully express myself has been a very painful process - (see my past post - "Waging War Against Self"). I also want to have the confidence and independence that I had in the States in a level that's healthy and relative to my new environment.

All I have to say is THANK GOD FOR LITTLE GIRLS! The minute I walked into the door, a little girl came running up to me with her arms wide open saying, "Ema, Ema (Mom, Mom)!" Of course, I was not her mother, but this type of warm welcome put my mind at temporary ease. Children are "testers" for trying out a new language. They're not so critical and everyone likes a hug at the end of the day :-)

I had a good day and was able to communicate. Granted, it was basic and I noticed a thousand mistakes, but overall I feel like "The Little Engine that could...."

I have a long way to go in my fluency in Hebrew, but this one day has encouraged me that "I think I can, I think I can, I think I can" be a good Hebrew communicator even if it means going up a "big hill" and many challenges. Even today I noticed that I was not so afraid of talking to people outside my circle...guess it helps when you are ordering mint-chocolate ice-cream :-)

May this encourage others in their own challenges!

Incredible Photo from this past week's travels

This is a photo I took on the hills of Jerusalem. The lighting turned out nice.

Simplicity in Faith

Over the last week, I have both hosted many people and been the host in other's homes. This Pesach vacation, Yoni and I were "real Israelis", as we traveled around our beautiful country. I want to say so much about our time, but alas, this will be for another post.

THIS post will touch on the simplicity of my faith. My life in Israel has brought new insight into how I view my faith. Times have tested me and friends have questioned me...and thus, I have narrowed things down to a few truths that reign close to my heart. One of the most influential verses to me is

Micah 6:8 "He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God."

Here's how I view the three actions of this verse:

Act Justly - I see this point as a type of social advocacy attitude in my life. I want to look out for others and help ensure that those in less fortunate situations are receiving what they need. G-d tells us that there will always be orphans and widows. Thus, I know that there will always be poverty. Think Matthew 25: 31-39....it describes perfectly the conversation I hope to have with G-d one day.

Love Mercy - I probably struggle the most with this point. I see "loving mercy" as a way to release my natural flesh from holding on to grudges, past pains and daily offenses. I'm definitely the type of person who likes to prove my point. In fact, my most popular phrase in talking to Yoni is, "Does that makes sense?" I want to know that someone has heard me. Thankfully, in talking to my husband and by being married, I have learned that "being right" is not the most important thing in life. In fact, I believe the most successful attitude to have is looking out for others. If you put others before yourself (not in a denying/afflicting yourself attitude) than I believe both you and the other person(s) will flourish. For we are called to "love our neighbor as yourself" (Leviticus 19:18).

Walk Humbly - How did I act on this last point? Allow (as in actively waiting and seeking) G-d to exalt you or lift you up or bring you into success (1 Peter 5:6). There have been many times over the years that I have gone ahead of G-d's plans and timing for my life. The severity of the consequences have varied. Sometimes, it took me a long while to see how events could have been easier (physically, emotionally and/or mentally) if I had humbled myself to G-d's instructions instead of my own. We don't always know that we're going ahead of G-d's plans for our lives. This is why having a daily walk or personal relationship with G-d helps us to stay connected and receive His instructions. I want Him to pilot my life and in doing so, I know that I will always arrive safely even if the journey is difficult.

These are just a few of my thoughts. Please feel free to comment or share your own. I love
2-way conversations! :-)

Here it is - Communication 101

For a long time now, I have wanted to write a blog post on communication. I feel like the last 15 months has taught me the good, the bad, and the ugly about this very important topic. So, in a nut shell, here are the greatest things I can share about what I've learned:

1. Email Exchange - It is not helpful to send negative thoughts or feelings through email. If you would like to confront someone or provide valuable critiquing of character, ask for a phone date or time in person. It's so easy to misinterrupt people's words or intentions since you can't hear their true tone of voice. I do acknowledge that some point are great emailers, but I have seen this mode of communication fail more times then succeeding when trying to address difficult issues.

2. Code Words or Code Phrases - It's great to create "code words" with family, friends or spouses. I find that I am more open to critique when I know that's the direction of the conversation from the start. Here are some examples that Yoni and I use:

"May I Make A Request?" = I would like you to consider changing _____

"It's one of my buttons" = I'm sorry for being so emotional about  ___ issue, it just really gets to me more then other things

3. Sympathy or Solution - I think we've all heard it said that men like to give solutions to problems and women only want to sympathy. I would beg to differ or at least say that it depends upon the couple. Personally, I love to find solutions to problems and in doing this can miss my husband's need for just venting. Thus, it's really good to first ask - "Do you want sympathy or a solution?"

4. Confrontation is not always bad - I use to hate confrontation and would do anything to avoid it at all cost. Thus, I became the Peace Keeper, which ended up spoiling my insides at times. The bottom line is, it's healthy for people to know when they or you are causing problems and how this affects life. There are some great ways to nicely confront people. If you are interested in knowing more about this topic, just write me an email and I will explain more. I still don't like having issues with people, but I even more, I don't like "the white elephant in the room."

5. Don't expect the unexpected - I've realized more and more that people can receive information in one manner and give out communication in another manner. Thus, it can be tempting to expect the same form of communication for both actions. In addition, it's VERY important to remember that my friends don't communicate JUST LIKE ME because they are simply my friends. For this reason, I cannot expect them to tell me how they are feeling just because this what I do with them.

6. Stay friendly even when there's been a fight -

Post to Come

I don't have much time tonight, but I like giving a preview of what's to come. For some time, I have been wanting to write a post about communication skills. I aspire to accomplish this task  in the near future. I also want to write about the elements of my faith. I want to talk about the beauty of a simple faith. Note, our faith is powerful and not held back by being "simple" by human vocabularly. So know that these thoughts are mixing around in my head and I hope to flush them out here soon enough.

As the good books say, "To be continued...."

Waging War Against Self

This past weekend I waged war against myself. What does this mean? I'll explain....

In life, we hear of people waging war against society or countries or causes. This is typical and very understandable; however, what if the enemy is not external. What if the deterrence to your aspirations lies completely below the surface? How can this be? Easy, my friend.

Before I moved to Israel, I thought of myself as a very confident person. I lived on my own, paid my own bills, drove places, filed my own taxes and simply found the solutions to my problems in a confident manner...for the most part. I believed my identity to be that of someone with a healthy self esteem and confidence. I was not fearful of moving continents or learning a whole new culture and language. Yes, I was confident....

Since moving to Israel, some of that has changed. I still believe myself to be a confident person, but my identity has taken some hard knocks. Learning the language has proven more difficult then I anticipated. I do admit that I have high standards for myself, but still, I had hoped to be speaking at ease by now - a year into being a citizen. The Israeli culture is also one of complexity. There are some many different cultural influences due to the fact that our country is basically all immigrants - some old and some new. I love to communicate and not being able to fully express myself has caused this once very outgoing person to migrate further into my home where the safety levels seem higher.

This is where the idea of waging war against myself comes in. I want to fully communicate with people and I want to feel the freedom of accomplishing desired task. I believe myself to be a confident person despite my recent very shy exterior. I must fight the thoughts of defeat, frustration, annoyance and plan old urges to throw myself down like a 2 year old and scream, "I can't! I can't! I can't" My outside identity is one way and my inside identity is another. I admire the inside more then the outside. I want them to match. So, every day, I take a step. A small step. I try a new word. I attempt to run an errand by myself. I drive on a new street. I greet people after service. I dream a little more and I plan my next attack on the feelings of incompetence.

I believe I can win this war, but it's a very different style then I'm use to. This war will take much longer and will ask a lot of me. Is it worth it? I believe so. One day I will walk across enemy lines and casually say, אני יכולה לדבר עברית. אני מבינה הכול. תודה

Sugar High & IKEA

Yea! It's THURSDAY! This means it's the start to another wonderful weekend. I think Thursday afternoon is the best feeling in the world.

Today was a definite sugar high. I ate a few pieces of dark chocolate after lunch, a whole pack of Mentos in the afternoon, a few more pieces of dark chocolate after dinner and now a pack of sour straws after our quick grocery rush. Let's just say I better brush my teeth extra good tonight or the tooth fairy may be seeing a few unexpected visitors :-)

As previously mentioned , I'm a lover of food and a die hard fan of chocolate, especially dark chocolate with mint or raspberry inside. It's my weakness and I let it overtake me sometimes....like today. But you see, sometimes in life we must indulge. I try to be careful and definitely eat a ton of non processed, very fresh products, but in the end, it's essential to throw your hands up, look the other way and let your sweet-tooth do the talking:) I'm convinced it's good for the soul....like tea:)

I've finally decided that I would like the focus of this blog to be non-directional. I'm simply going to chat about whatever is on my mind. This could be events in my own life, things happening in the land, or simply passing thoughts about random items. I hope this doesn't disappoint you. Perhaps, you'll consider this blog your "2 min break" piece of reading for the day. We all need a little distraction to keep our attention span flexed for the long run.

So one funny thing that happened today was my ability to play "interior designer". It was fantastic and don't you know I totally lived it up! :-) You see, our organization just acquired some space in the building next to us - consider it attached to us. My boss asked some lady friends from America who are interior designers by trade to drop by and give their thoughts on potential layout/color/design. We focused our attention on the upstairs portion, which had this huge awkward raised block in the middle of the  floor. This piece was evidently some raised portion of the roof for the floor below. Just another sign of odd Israeli building plans. Nonetheless, the ladies started throwing out paint colors and I couldn't help myself, by throwing out a few ideas too. Well, don't you know, the main woman started telling me that I should first start with the accent pillows then the dividers then the curtains. Before long, I had all eyes on me as if I was going to remodel this huge bare room by myself. It was quite funny. I love art and I love designing, but I'm no natural Martha Stewart. I'm just good at going to a store and throwing my pointer finger around at the items I desire to purchase. By the end of our time together, the discussion had revolved around me going to IKEA and stapling fabric onto a devider...um, really? This my friends will be a true adventure....warehouse designing HERE I COME!

:-)

In Honor of Pesach

My stepmom passed this along to me and it's AMAZING. I highly recommend watching the following video. Chag Sameach!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZKJcHVWI_4&feature=youtu.be

A Toast to Tea!

Funny how this posting starts to catch on once you decide to roll with it. I now think, "oh yeah, I could blog about that..." guess it's the sign that there's much to say or write. Time for tea...almost.

I love tea. I have fond memories all relating to tea. My stepmom and I would drink tea at 4 pm every day when I was in middle school. We'd make a nice cup of English Breakfast Tea and sink into the couch to watch the day's viewing of Oprah. *This is when I liked Oprah...now, not too much * My mom would make tea and coffee for me on Saturday afternoons when I was in high school and college. When visiting my grandma in Boston, we would sit in her kitchen and talk for hours over a  nice cup of Tetley tea. Now, I offer tea to all my friends who come over for a visit. Tea is like the best welcome sign. It says, "Come, rest, let's chat for awhile and let the weight of the world fall off our shoulders..."

Not only is tea amazing as a "thing to do", but consider all the flavors and ways to make tea. It's fun to see the cultures appear when one makes a special brew. In England, it's always a lump of sugar and a little milk. In Asia, we hear of green tea with all the anti-oxidants to keep you growing healthy for years to come. In America, I've seen many people add honey and lemon, especially to fight off a cold. So, what about you? What do you put in your tea?

Lastly, tea is so wonderful that people use it in mottoes and quotes. Take for example the following quote by Eleanor Roosevelt: "A woman is like a tea bag- you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water. " I would tend to agree.

So have I convinced you enough that tea is better then coffee? :-)

On a different note, I saw this video today and promptly starting crying. Yes, the freshly applied face of make-up gently rolled down my cheeks because the duo was that good. I'm a sucker for the underdog. Hope you enjoy the link! Maybe you want to watch it with a good cup of tea :)

Charlotte & Jonathan - Britain's Got Talent
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZsNlcr4frs4

Post-Posting

Okay, so I know I just finished posting, but after closing the computer, I have a 101 ideas of things to talk about...this is soooo me....always thinking of what to say after-the-fact. So next time, I will discuss why I love tea. I think I shall call the post - Two for Tea, Tea for Two...stay tuned :-)

2nd Time Around

I've been provoked by a friend (in a good way) to restart my blog. So much has happened since the last post that I feel a little lost as to a beginning or re-beginning. The reason that I was afraid to post further is that I didn't want this medium to be a vessel for venting. Over the last year, I've experienced a lot of trials and triumphs. People have hurt me and People have lifted me up. I guess this is life, but the more I experience, the more I want to shout back and throw open the gates...ahh, the blue gate, my blue gate.

So, where's Waldo? We found Waldo in Boston...(a street sign- see below)...hehe...So where's Blair? Well, I'm a married working woman who has dual citizenship, is learning and appreciating the art of cooking, rambles daily in a mix of languages while trying to master Hebrew, and yearns for daily adventure (even if by Internet). My husband is a gem. He matches me beautifully, especially all the funny quirks that come out when a man and a woman actually live together daily. Before I met Yoni (my husband), I was told by a trusted leader that he is "a gentleman and a gentle man." This really describes my Yoni.  We feel so blessed to have a "homey"-apartment with room for people to connect. Yes, connecting. This is my passion. I want to connect with God. I want to connect with my family. I want to connect with our community. I want to connect with friends. I want to connect with the language. I have no difficulty connecting with food and I'm excited everyday to connect with our homeland - Israel.

I can't believe it's been over a year since I've moved here. Where does time go? Is it like the old song - {Time in a Bottle} - can I shelf it in my pantry for a recipe in the future? How I wish....

My days now are a funny melody. I pray every day to be open to the opportunities that come my way. I want to be sensitive to where God leads. It's an adventurous prayer, but fun.

Around the corner is Pesach (Passover). I LOVE Pesach especially in Israel. My favorite thing use to be the Seder. It still in, but now I also love the vacation time that comes along with this holiday since we live in a country full of Jews. We're taking some friends to Rosh HaNikra in a few weeks. Although Yoni and I went back last year (picture below), we didn't go to the tourist site where you can walk into the caves. I'm super excited about going back since it's been 9 years....geezz....we're also taking a little trip to Jerusalem at the end of the chag (holiday). Again, more time to spend with friends and connect to the old city. Most importantly is my beloved's birthday. Last year, I took Yoni to the local symphony while also having a night where we invited friends over for matzah pizza and a movie. My creative juices are still flowing for what to do this year. Birthdays are a highlight for me!

Let me leave it on a this note - a nice one. I hope to be back and maybe this 2nd time, I will be a more successful penmen. Lehitra'ot!