Open House Party Prep

Well, I'm home sick this week, but this does not stop me from trying to be productive in my silly kind of way. For example, if I study Hebrew for an hour then I will reward myself with 2 episodes of "Once Upon A Time "...plus chocolate. If I get through the laundry then I will gladly give myself a handful of chips after taking my nose spray and prescribed throat lozengers. Silly, right?! On to more news. I am very excited about our open house party on May 19th!

I have wanted to throw an open house party for sometime, but it seemed like we couldn't find a good date. Either our bathrooms were under-construction or there were exams to prepare for or we needed to attend some function. But now, all our construction is finished and we've brought home the last purchased piece of furniture! I really love our home and am thrilled to see people feel comfortable when they visit. Truly, I am blessed, as my husband is the one that bought the home before I even came into the picture. He kept everything simple until we married and now has given me much freedom to suggest and implement changes. Now, we want everyone to enjoy our home as much as we do. So, where do I start in planning such a party?????

We've decided to have a late afternoon/early evening party - 4-7pm on a Saturday afternoon (so Motzi Shabbat). I'd like to create an atmosphere of fun with a "laid-back" type of attitude. I say this because I'm such a planner that I would normally plan out every hour of any event I host.

{Sidenote: When I was a child, I always had a fear that my friends would be bored when spending the night at my house. I wanted them to have a good time and of course, I wanted them to like me. I think adults are the same way. I want people to enjoy our Open House and of course, I want people to like my husband and myself. I've since learned that I can't force or make people like me and in fact, it's not the most important things in life - whether someone likes you or not. Reality is some people like you and some do not. THAT'S OKAY. Back to our party...}

How do I fuse fun + laid-back? I think the answer lies in a buffet! Yes, maybe I can cover our table with buffet style finger foods. I'm also thinking about something that people can participate in - maybe a platter for people to sign or maybe planting seeds in a flower box...not sure. We're also thinking about hanging a new mazuzah at the front door. My dad and stepmom gave us a beautiful mazuzah in the shape of a tree, which is very fitting since our last name means "oak tree" in Hebrew. These are just a few of my ideas...we'll see what happens.

One last secret to the reason I want this party. I feel bad that we have not invited more people over for Erev Shabbat meals. We've hosted a lot of our single friends, but not as many of our married friends. I'm still learning how to mix the two groups, as it's a big goal for us. Yoni and I both feel strongly that it's important to have multi-generations involved in our lives. As my new saying goes, "We want to be Passionate for People." Community is important and I want community in my home!

"Be grateful for the home you have, knowing that at this moment, all you have is all you need."

~ Sarah Ban Breathnach

"Charity begins at home, but should not end there."

 ~ Thomas Fuller

Fantasy Lands

I feel so bad that I haven't written a new entry in over a week. This is definitely below my hopes of posting regularly. Funny enough, I check my friends' blogs most every day because I love to see what's new. Ah, this era of "Internet connection" and not just the signal strength...which constantly goes in and out around my apartment.

Okay, so without further notice, let's jump into my thought for this post - Fantasy Lands.

I just finished reading, The Hobbit and have now watched all the current behind-the-scene/making of the movie video blogs. It's incredible and mind blowing at how much they can do these days to make our imaginations appear on film. Honestly, I wasn't as impressed with this book compared to my love for other Tolkien book that have been adapted into movies like The Lord of the Rings series. I wanted to read, The Hobbit as a means of comparison to the upcoming film debut in December. I'm curious to see which parts Peter Jackson (movie director) will capture and which will simply remind in the book.

As I was reading, The Hobbit it occurred to me that around the same time, C.S. Lewis was creating another fantasy land - Narnia. This same author wrote numerous books around his fantasy lands and today, these books are becoming movies. One could almost say there is a Tolkien vs. Lewis battle going on, as movie adapted books become apart of our yearly cycles.

The third fantasy land that I wanted to point out is a recent US television show called, Once Upon A Time. A friend introduced me to the series and now I'm trying to watch all of Season 1 before the next season ares. It's a great show that basically revolves around all the common fairytale characters being trapped in the worst place ever - our world! There "Happily Ever Afters" are being threatened by their current life on planet Earth.

Last night, I couldn't help but think that we - the human race - are very fascinated with fantasy lands. Why? I think there are many reasons. For me, I love enjoying another person's story where I don't have to do anything but watch events unfold and hold my breath until the (hopefully) happy ending comes forth. What does this say about me? I'm lazy? Maybe yes, Maybe no. I think, we, as humans are so worn out and afraid of the lack of happy endings that it's easier to obtain happiness from another's story. It's not easy interacting with reality and sometimes we don't get the proper or expected return. So, should we stop trying and crawl inwards to the fantasy lands of Tolkien, C.S. Lewis or ABC's latest television show? No, I absolutely don't think so.

My hope is not 100% in the riches of this world. There are days that feel like I'm living in a wonderful fantasy and there are days that feel like a bad comedy. The beauty is knowing that Heaven outweighs them all. Heaven is a topic that scares and delights me all at the same time. I will save that for the another post. What I want to say here is that our Earth is beautiful and mysterious. It holds great wonders, but in the end, I will walk in a place that is better then Middle Earth, Narnia and Storybook, Maine. My hope is G-d, the King of Heaven and Earth!

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when the desire is fulfilled, it is a tree of life."

 Proverbs 13:12

The Little Engine That Could...

Yesterday was very exciting and incredibly scary for me. I have been wanting to volunteer somewhere in the greater Israeli community for several reasons:

1. To improve my Hebrew speaking
2. To meet new people and
3. To connect more with Israel as a whole

For this reason, I was ecstatic to find a center for "children at-risk" through the welfare office in a neighboring town. This seemed like the perfect venue for me. When the day finally came to go, I was having so many different thoughts...like...

"Can I really handle this? Will I be able to communicate with anyone or will I revert to just shaking my head at everything as if I know what they're saying? Will I ever be able to communicate on my own without Yoni present? What if I want to leave early in the day? What IF, What IF, WHAT IF?????"

It's so important to me that I can communicate with people. I'm such a talkative person that not being able to fully express myself has been a very painful process - (see my past post - "Waging War Against Self"). I also want to have the confidence and independence that I had in the States in a level that's healthy and relative to my new environment.

All I have to say is THANK GOD FOR LITTLE GIRLS! The minute I walked into the door, a little girl came running up to me with her arms wide open saying, "Ema, Ema (Mom, Mom)!" Of course, I was not her mother, but this type of warm welcome put my mind at temporary ease. Children are "testers" for trying out a new language. They're not so critical and everyone likes a hug at the end of the day :-)

I had a good day and was able to communicate. Granted, it was basic and I noticed a thousand mistakes, but overall I feel like "The Little Engine that could...."

I have a long way to go in my fluency in Hebrew, but this one day has encouraged me that "I think I can, I think I can, I think I can" be a good Hebrew communicator even if it means going up a "big hill" and many challenges. Even today I noticed that I was not so afraid of talking to people outside my circle...guess it helps when you are ordering mint-chocolate ice-cream :-)

May this encourage others in their own challenges!

Incredible Photo from this past week's travels

This is a photo I took on the hills of Jerusalem. The lighting turned out nice.

Simplicity in Faith

Over the last week, I have both hosted many people and been the host in other's homes. This Pesach vacation, Yoni and I were "real Israelis", as we traveled around our beautiful country. I want to say so much about our time, but alas, this will be for another post.

THIS post will touch on the simplicity of my faith. My life in Israel has brought new insight into how I view my faith. Times have tested me and friends have questioned me...and thus, I have narrowed things down to a few truths that reign close to my heart. One of the most influential verses to me is

Micah 6:8 "He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God."

Here's how I view the three actions of this verse:

Act Justly - I see this point as a type of social advocacy attitude in my life. I want to look out for others and help ensure that those in less fortunate situations are receiving what they need. G-d tells us that there will always be orphans and widows. Thus, I know that there will always be poverty. Think Matthew 25: 31-39....it describes perfectly the conversation I hope to have with G-d one day.

Love Mercy - I probably struggle the most with this point. I see "loving mercy" as a way to release my natural flesh from holding on to grudges, past pains and daily offenses. I'm definitely the type of person who likes to prove my point. In fact, my most popular phrase in talking to Yoni is, "Does that makes sense?" I want to know that someone has heard me. Thankfully, in talking to my husband and by being married, I have learned that "being right" is not the most important thing in life. In fact, I believe the most successful attitude to have is looking out for others. If you put others before yourself (not in a denying/afflicting yourself attitude) than I believe both you and the other person(s) will flourish. For we are called to "love our neighbor as yourself" (Leviticus 19:18).

Walk Humbly - How did I act on this last point? Allow (as in actively waiting and seeking) G-d to exalt you or lift you up or bring you into success (1 Peter 5:6). There have been many times over the years that I have gone ahead of G-d's plans and timing for my life. The severity of the consequences have varied. Sometimes, it took me a long while to see how events could have been easier (physically, emotionally and/or mentally) if I had humbled myself to G-d's instructions instead of my own. We don't always know that we're going ahead of G-d's plans for our lives. This is why having a daily walk or personal relationship with G-d helps us to stay connected and receive His instructions. I want Him to pilot my life and in doing so, I know that I will always arrive safely even if the journey is difficult.

These are just a few of my thoughts. Please feel free to comment or share your own. I love
2-way conversations! :-)

Here it is - Communication 101

For a long time now, I have wanted to write a blog post on communication. I feel like the last 15 months has taught me the good, the bad, and the ugly about this very important topic. So, in a nut shell, here are the greatest things I can share about what I've learned:

1. Email Exchange - It is not helpful to send negative thoughts or feelings through email. If you would like to confront someone or provide valuable critiquing of character, ask for a phone date or time in person. It's so easy to misinterrupt people's words or intentions since you can't hear their true tone of voice. I do acknowledge that some point are great emailers, but I have seen this mode of communication fail more times then succeeding when trying to address difficult issues.

2. Code Words or Code Phrases - It's great to create "code words" with family, friends or spouses. I find that I am more open to critique when I know that's the direction of the conversation from the start. Here are some examples that Yoni and I use:

"May I Make A Request?" = I would like you to consider changing _____

"It's one of my buttons" = I'm sorry for being so emotional about  ___ issue, it just really gets to me more then other things

3. Sympathy or Solution - I think we've all heard it said that men like to give solutions to problems and women only want to sympathy. I would beg to differ or at least say that it depends upon the couple. Personally, I love to find solutions to problems and in doing this can miss my husband's need for just venting. Thus, it's really good to first ask - "Do you want sympathy or a solution?"

4. Confrontation is not always bad - I use to hate confrontation and would do anything to avoid it at all cost. Thus, I became the Peace Keeper, which ended up spoiling my insides at times. The bottom line is, it's healthy for people to know when they or you are causing problems and how this affects life. There are some great ways to nicely confront people. If you are interested in knowing more about this topic, just write me an email and I will explain more. I still don't like having issues with people, but I even more, I don't like "the white elephant in the room."

5. Don't expect the unexpected - I've realized more and more that people can receive information in one manner and give out communication in another manner. Thus, it can be tempting to expect the same form of communication for both actions. In addition, it's VERY important to remember that my friends don't communicate JUST LIKE ME because they are simply my friends. For this reason, I cannot expect them to tell me how they are feeling just because this what I do with them.

6. Stay friendly even when there's been a fight -

Post to Come

I don't have much time tonight, but I like giving a preview of what's to come. For some time, I have been wanting to write a post about communication skills. I aspire to accomplish this task  in the near future. I also want to write about the elements of my faith. I want to talk about the beauty of a simple faith. Note, our faith is powerful and not held back by being "simple" by human vocabularly. So know that these thoughts are mixing around in my head and I hope to flush them out here soon enough.

As the good books say, "To be continued...."

Waging War Against Self

This past weekend I waged war against myself. What does this mean? I'll explain....

In life, we hear of people waging war against society or countries or causes. This is typical and very understandable; however, what if the enemy is not external. What if the deterrence to your aspirations lies completely below the surface? How can this be? Easy, my friend.

Before I moved to Israel, I thought of myself as a very confident person. I lived on my own, paid my own bills, drove places, filed my own taxes and simply found the solutions to my problems in a confident manner...for the most part. I believed my identity to be that of someone with a healthy self esteem and confidence. I was not fearful of moving continents or learning a whole new culture and language. Yes, I was confident....

Since moving to Israel, some of that has changed. I still believe myself to be a confident person, but my identity has taken some hard knocks. Learning the language has proven more difficult then I anticipated. I do admit that I have high standards for myself, but still, I had hoped to be speaking at ease by now - a year into being a citizen. The Israeli culture is also one of complexity. There are some many different cultural influences due to the fact that our country is basically all immigrants - some old and some new. I love to communicate and not being able to fully express myself has caused this once very outgoing person to migrate further into my home where the safety levels seem higher.

This is where the idea of waging war against myself comes in. I want to fully communicate with people and I want to feel the freedom of accomplishing desired task. I believe myself to be a confident person despite my recent very shy exterior. I must fight the thoughts of defeat, frustration, annoyance and plan old urges to throw myself down like a 2 year old and scream, "I can't! I can't! I can't" My outside identity is one way and my inside identity is another. I admire the inside more then the outside. I want them to match. So, every day, I take a step. A small step. I try a new word. I attempt to run an errand by myself. I drive on a new street. I greet people after service. I dream a little more and I plan my next attack on the feelings of incompetence.

I believe I can win this war, but it's a very different style then I'm use to. This war will take much longer and will ask a lot of me. Is it worth it? I believe so. One day I will walk across enemy lines and casually say, אני יכולה לדבר עברית. אני מבינה הכול. תודה