Pulling the Past to the Present

I feel like so much has happened since my last post and while I'd love to share all the details, tonight, I will just share one thought.

About a month ago, the YMJA Israel Team arrived. As you may recall, I wrote about our time with them here in the Haifa area. That weekend left me feeling a mix of emotions. As the weekends moved forward, I felt like I was able to process my emotional thoughts in small bits, which led me to some good internal conclusions. Today, I feel like a new "dimension" to those emotions has errupted again. Why? All because of Facebook!

The YMJA Team just returned to their respective hometowns and many of the team members have posted hundreds of photos, capturing all the incredible moments of their time. It's insane that I'm glued to these photos and looking through hundreds over several hours. Why? Because I remember my own experience. It was the trip that changed my life and led me to my current permanent spot, as an Israeli citizen!

So, here were the emotions that came from such photographic viewings:

The Good: "Awhh, yes, I remember doing __________. They look like they are having such a blast! Wow, I have to go there sometime! We took some of those exact same poses! Hehe, they look so funny!" etc....

The Bad: "Where did time go? How has 9 years passed since our own trip? I really miss our trip and wish I could go back in time to do some things again. Why can't I go on a tour? I wish I could have spent more time with the people on this trip. Why has time passed so quickly?!" etc...

The Result: Time is precious. I need to appreciate people, places and events more. I love all the things in my present day life and feel like I waited a life time to get here, but now that I'm here, it's like I'm dreaming of the next step. Seeing the group's pictures has reminded me to WAIT, SLOW DOWN, and STOP to enjoy the moment. I can't go backwards, only forwards. Turning 30 seems so close and that scares me a tad. Life is fragile, precious and moves quickly. In seeing the group, I saw myself, and this was a good reflection of time.

Speaking of time, Shabbat is coming and my former Rabbi use to say, "Shabbat is like an island in time." I like that! Shabbat Shalom!

Why is it so hard to find a Wife/Husband?

Tonight, I find myself asking the question, "Why is it so hard for single people to find "The One"?" It's slightly ironic that I've asked myself this question both as a single person and now as a married person. I realize that for those that have strong religious/faith-based beliefs, the act of becoming married seems to be harder; perhaps, on account of "additional standards" relating to one's personal convictions. 

Recently, I've taken special notice of many of my single friends. I have so many exceptional single friends - both guys and girls - that would love to be married. If this is their desire and one they feel G-d has ordained than I, too, desire this for each of them. Part of me wishes that it was easy enough to just pair people up like one of my favorite childhood games, Memory. I often find myself looking at the interests of these friends and making mental comparison charts like another good board game, Apples to Apples. Again, why is it so hard for them to find their intended wife or husband? I know from talking and walking alongside these friends that they would make excellent spouses, family leaders, future parents, married friends and community members. Why? Why? Why? 

Furthermore, I'm sure you've heard statements like:

"She's so great, how come no one has snatched her up already? Something must be wrong..."

"He really wants to be married. I feel bad for him. Why doesn't he put himself out there more?"

"Maybe he or she is not meant to be married right now because G-d is using them in such a powerful way!"

Do these statements help? No, I don't think so. I also know that when I was single, I heard  other statements like:

"Some guy is going to be so blessed to have you as his wife one day."

"When you get married, this time of waiting will seem worth it!"

"G-d has amazing things in store for you!"

Did these helps me have more patience while waiting for my husband to come into the picture? Not so much...

So what's my conclusion....

I don't have an answer!

This I do know: G-d's plans are always good, but not always easy. So, I will continue to pray for my friends and seek ways to be of help, understanding and support. I don't want to offer trifle words and I hope that just maybe G-d will use me as an intended or unintended matchmaker... :-) I'll end with two good quotes that I just found. Hope they bring a smile to your face and joy to your heart

Albert Ellis

The art of love... is largely the art of persistence.

AnonymousIt is never too late to fall in love.

When the Past Meets the Future

After college, I worked as a retreat/conference planner for a youth organization over the span of 3.5 years. Before I started working professionally for this non-profit, I volunteered my time, also over a span of several years. This job was great for a new college grad, as I had the chance to travel all over the US and meet incredible people constantly. It really helped me to grow, stretch and understand my personal strengths, talents and gifting. I will be forever grateful for how God used this time of my life to shape the person that I've become. In fact, it was very hard for me to say good-bye in preparing to move to Israel. If I lived in the US now, I'm sure I would still be volunteering and heavily involved. So what happened when I moved to Israel?...I closed that chapter of my life and asked God to show me the next step, knowing that the things I learned would be re-shaped in a new place. I felt like the old piece of clay that was put back on the potter's wheel to be watered down into soft dough, so the Master could create a new design.
Some time ago, I found out that this organization was taking a group of young people on a tour around Israel. I was ecstatic and sad at the same time. I remembered by own experience on this type of trip over 9 years ago. Where has time gone? How can it fly so fast? And why am I approaching 30 - scary! I really wanted to be involved in the planning of this current trip and felt the old urge to organize such an event resurface. Oy! Truth be told, I had my feelings hurt at first, as I was not being used in the way that I wanted. This turned out to be a good thing, as I was reminded again of how I needed to cut the strings and allow others to work in their proper place. Again, Oy! So tough!

God really did bless me, as I then had the chance to plan, organize and semi-lead two days of the trip. This is where the Past met the Present and I think they gave one another an awkward hand-shake.

I told many people that I knew how the youth were feeling since I had been on the same trip years ago, but I didn't know how to look at the youth from the outside...the other side. It was such a mix of emotions for me. I could feel parts of the "Old Blair" rising to the surface and I longed for "that feeling" ... the kind that kicks in around conference time. I even saw old friends that I had worked alongside, but this time, we were in new positions. I couldn't make the puzzle pieces fit, but I could almost see what the puzzle design was suppose to be.

.... Let me stop for a moment and recognize that this previous job was not always easy and there were things I hoped never to do again, like fundraising, but overall, I would rate it as at least an 8 out of 10. I'm also proud to see how much things have grown and changed. I'm happy to have made "many mistakes" so others can walk a stronger/smoother path. Back to the current story....

As the second day came to a close, I am happy to report that I possessed a certain peace about 'hanging out with the past." I was able to flex some old muscles, relive some memories, connect with some great young people, enjoy some free time at the beach, make new connections with my Israeli counterparts and ensure that a certain dream was fulfilled. I can now confidently say that I don't yearn for the past, but look at her with a smile and say, "Thanks for the ride. It was a good one!"

As for what's ahead of me, well, I'm still excited to see how it continues to unfold. It wouldn't half surprise me if moments like this weekend, pop up from time to time like the common thread in my life tapestry.

L'chaim!

It's the Engine...

This past weekend, we did a little traveling to one of our favorite places - Jerusalem! It was one of those times where we combined a lot of peoples' invitations into one trip. This always thrills me! Save gas + extend fellowship = good memories! We were housed by a dear friend who is visiting from the States. She is renting a nice home in the German Colony, which is a district/section of Jerusalem. On Thursday night, we hosted a small events for other young people who have made aliyah. I loved hearing everyones' stories in such a relaxed atmosphere. Truly each story is unique and it's fun to see how God works out the details! On Friday morning, we picked up 3 friends who were also going to the wedding, which was in Beit Shemesh - about 30 minutes outside of Jerusalem heading in the direction of Tel Aviv. Again, we were having a great time and I was happy that we could help others travel to this somewhat inconvenient location - don't get me wrong, the location was beautiful, but not easy to get to if you don't have a car.

As we were coming up one of the Jerusalem hills, I felt the car pulling. It was like it was trying to accelerate and couldn't. I thought of the Flintstones cartoon...maybe we needed to pedal with our feet to make it up the acsent :-) Things seem to return to normal, as we leveled out, but not for long. The closer we got to Beit Shemesh, the more our engine started to shake. Before long, those in the back were asking if something is wrong with the car...this is always a bad sign! Thank God, there was a gas station near by, so we turned in and again Thank God there was a mechanic available. He looked at the car and said it was probably a spark plug, but that we should visit his friend up the street who works at a proper car shop. So, we gently made our way to this shop to look for Jabal.

Again, we found the shop relatively easily and Jabal was able to look at the car right away. Remember, at this point, we are all in our wedding attire, so I'm sure we looked a little funny pulling into this oil spot. Most of the group went into the air conditioning waiting room where there was free Internet, water and coffee. I wanted to stay in there, but my curiosity was climbing and I thought maybe a "pretty face" would encourage someone to help us. I can't help but still try to bat my eyelashes in a desperate situation. To make a long story short, we heard the famous words, "it's your engine. It needs to be replaced." Okay, to me, this is like saying, "it's the heart. It needs to be replaced."

Yonatan and I tried not to panic. You have to understand, it's almost noon on Friday (everything closes around 2 due to Shabbat) in a town that is almost 3 hours from home. What to do...we decide to leave the car, get a rental and go to the wedding. This is a decision we felt good about considering the circumstances. So, we tell the group our decision and try to work things out with the car shop. I am very proud to report that I said in Hebrew to the car shop guys that we were on our way to a wedding. This one sentence helped us receive a discount on the car rental and obtain more compassion from everyone because in Israel, weddings, babies and births are a HUGE ordeal. Yea for me! This is the one time I'll toot my own horn.

So, we made lemon juice out of lemons (inside joke) and enjoyed the rest of our weekend. The wedding was GREAT and our times with friends was wonderful. We also walked around different parts of Jerusalem and picked up a beautiful piece of art that a friend had bought for us.

The last part of this blog will explore some irony.

It is ironic that a week before this trip, we took the car in for a tune-up. The mechanic here replaced our back breaks and refilled all the fluids. So, why did our engine break a week later? Was it the fault of our mechanic here or just timing? I don't know. Another one of our friends' cars also broke on the way to a wedding in Jerusalem about a month ago. Again, are weddings in Jerusalem bad luck or just timing? I think the answer is obvious :-) And lastly, was it worth us buying a whole new engine or should we have just bought another car? No irony in this one. We felt it was worth it to replace the engine in this car. It was more financially savvy for us rather then invest in a new car.

Last thing I was to share. If there is one thing I have learned from this whole experience is that people love to share their opinions. We've had more people tell us "what we should have done" and honestly it's annoying. Yonatan and I made a decision that we felt comfortable with and that's the end of the story. I wish people would not offer up their advice unless asked to because it's not that helpful once the action has taken place.

Good news - the car shop called today and our car is ready for pick-up! Yonatan is going tomorrow, so our baby - Shoshi - will be home by the evening!

End of story. :-)